Hi, it's Friday now, but I wrote this on Thursday. I just want to put what's inside my mind as soon as possible before I forget it. So, I've been thinking about what I wrote last week. Usually, nothing sticks for so long in my mind, but maybe it's because I wrote them down.

Inferiority complex. That's what I said. I don't even know what that means. Thinking about it now, it's just a bullshit. A big bullshit. I just needed a cool word to describe my feelings, and this crap just flew into my brain at that moment. It sounds cool, so that's probably why I was okay with it. Now, it's clear to me that that's not entirely true. Maybe it's partly true. Truthfully, I don't know. And if I just blamed all my problems into this fancy term, maybe one day I would start believing it. And I know it's not a good thing.

I don't know anything about myself. Maybe that's the closest truth I would ever get. I feel like, this whole time, I was just trying to be someone else. I don't want to understand myself. I don't want to be myself because I hate it. Maybe, if I were funnier people would like me more. Maybe, if I were more this and people would respect me more. And goes on. And goes on.

I feel like the most selfish person in this world. Just writing these stuff. I actually never talk about anything else beside myself in my journals. Lol.